Scalentine Chronicler Lonely Hearts Column

Male seeking Female

Abracadabra: Alphor the Magnificent, (human, 50 Years Scalentine, slightly used) Conjuror of Lively Spirits and Entertaining Visions for the Discerning, weary of non-corporeal company, seeks nice solid lady.  Own wand provided.

Female seeking Male

I’d Hide: Ikinchli female seeks handsome, utterly untrustworthy male. His name’s Drakiikk, and he’s a total  sonofaswampbeetle, so if he turns on the charm, be warned. As for you, Drakiik – never mind what my brothers said, I’m after you. I’ll find you first, and I’m worse. 

Male seeking Male

Forgotten Something? Athletic, affectionate, absent-minded Ipanthi male, 28 years Scalentine, seeks relationship with cute, forgiving similar.  Fairly sure I’m not currently involved. However just in case, you should be broadminded, or able to catch flying crockery, or both.

Female seeking Female

Still Here: Human, 50 years Scalentine, seeks female companion for her son. He’s a perfectly nice boy but I can’t get him out of this house with a crowbar. Any appealing applicants considered. Compensation,  helpful advice and future babysitting offered. (Dear Editor: Are you sure this will go in the right section this time?)

Hermaphroditic seeking Hermaphroditic

Expect Poetry: Are you adventurous, unconventional, fed up of your parent expecting you to go into the family restaurant business and be exactly like them and absolutely everyone else they know?  Me too.  Barraklé, 17 years Scalentine, seeks similar who understands.    


Extra-Ordinary: Ordinary Couple (human, M/F, 45 and 50 years Scalentine) seeks Other to add interest to our bedroom encounters.  Nothing too exotic, i.e. maximum 3 appendages and no weird stuff. (If we have to explain weird, it’s weird. Sorry).


Scalentine Chronicler Lonely Hearts Column — 1 Comment

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