Dear Babylon – Merry Widow?

Dear Madam Steel

We are a BrinD’akash husband-pairing, and our honour-mother is a female of late middle years.  Two years ago (Scalentine calendar), both of our fathers passed to the next very close together.  Now we think she is at loose ends and it is time she found a little happy with maybe some new men but she is worried this will dishonour the family altar. 

We do not think she should be making happy on the family altar, only that she is lonely and though we honour her greatly she is so many times at our house that our wife is becoming a bit impatient.  She brings many fine scarves she has embroidered herself but one can only wear so many scarves, excellent cakes which we must eat or she is upset, although we have already had to purchase a larger sleeping platform due to much cake, and also the children do not need washing six times a day and have begun hiding under the house. 

Should we maybe purchase her some time at your fine establishment?

Yours in all honour

Donaki th’en divrab Kor and Donaki th’ish divrab Kor

Dear Donaki th’en divrab Kor and Donaki th’ish divrab Kor

I am sorry to hear of the loss of your fathers. As for your honour-mother, I’m not sure she would react favourably to the gift of an appointment here.

I think you should encourage her to join some organisations where she can meet people of shared interests.  There are clubs for people who like embroidery, for example; look in the Scalentine Chronicler.  Or perhaps you could interest her in selling her embroidery, or her cakes?  Her own business would keep her occupied.

(Note from Flower: he wants some new recipes, and is happy to swap.  Especially if she can show him how to make Golden Three-Wish Cake).

Failing that, see if you can introduce her to men of her own age, especially ones who need feeding up.  Failling that, yeah, see if she’ll accept an appointment.  It might give her a whole new interest, you never know.

Yours in all honour


Dear Babylon

I am seeing someone in the Militia.  She is lovely and I am crazy for her but every time she is on patrol I worry so much I cry.  This upsets her a lot and I don’t want to upset her so I pretend I haven’t been but she always knows.  What can I do?

Weepy Mary

Dear Mary

Sorry, love, it goes with the territory.  Trust me, I know.  But the Millies are tough, trained and well-armed.

Why not get her to show you some of the training they have, maybe even teach you a few moves herself?  Once you have it demonstrated to you that she can take care of herself it should help reassure you.  And try and find something to occupy yourself when she’s out on patrol.  If you have any hobbies, do them, or find a new one, or just go out with friends, but don’t sit at home brooding – it never helps.

Good luck, sweetie.



Embarrassed – that’s quite normal at your age.  Or any age, actually.  And anyone who tells you it weakens your essence has, shall we say, issues of their own which aren’t your problem.

Mr H – your bill now stands at 33 silver.  Pay up or the Twins will be round.  In daylight, in full kit, with lots of equipment, in front of all your neighbours.

Turning of Leaves in the Soft Light  – I honestly have no idea, I think you need to find someone of your own species and they can tell you if that falls outside the Seventy Three Acceptable Practices.  When you find out, let me know what it means, and we’ll see if we can accommodate you.


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