Scalentine Chronicler Classified Ads

‘Visionary Vistas’ Professional Landscapers – You Will Believe Your Eyes! Do you have a tiny plot and long for land?  We can help!  No matter how small the area, we can give you rolling fields and vast acreage – ancient … Continue reading

Extracts from the Scalentine Chronicler

Mysterious ‘Burglaries’ Leave Militia Baffled A number of dwellings have recently been broken into in the area of Crowns portal.  Each break-in has involved various items being moved around and a small amount of money, approximately enough to pay for … Continue reading

Extracts from the Scalentine Chronicler

Alchemical Blaze Residents on Brittle Bridge Way were woken in the early hours of last Jalday by explosions and brightly-coloured fireballs. T’fringith Dren, of No. 38, described the scene. “Like a festival, pink, blue, bang bang!  And the alchemist running … Continue reading


JOBS Guards/Drivers sought for trade caravan.  High rates. Must be skilled fighters, any additional abilities an advantage, extra weapons/armour/magical protections provided, no dependents preferred. Teachers required, all subjects.  Madame Hithrode’s Educational College, King of Stone.  High rates. Must be skilled … Continue reading

Scalentine Chronicler Lonely Hearts Column

Male seeking Female Abracadabra: Alphor the Magnificent, (human, 50 Years Scalentine, slightly used) Conjuror of Lively Spirits and Entertaining Visions for the Discerning, weary of non-corporeal company, seeks nice solid lady.  Own wand provided. Female seeking Male I’d Hide: Ikinchli … Continue reading

From the Scalentine Chronicler Personal Columns…

Female Seeking Male In the money: Human, 58 years Scalentine, well-preserved and jolly.  Seeks entertaining, independent person/persons to help me spend family fortune as recklessly as possible, before scrounging, whinging, ungrateful offspring can inherit it.  Gave up wiping their bums … Continue reading

Extracts from the Scalentine Chronicler Employment Columns

Cheese Wrangler wanted. Experience in handling Litjar Blue and the more potent Endaki cheeses a necessity, apply Tupp’s Warehouse, Little Cattle Street. Dancers needed, Calentaria’s Burlesque Barre and Grille.  Flexibility, dexterity, skin/costumes must be resistant to spitting fat and occasional … Continue reading

Extracts from the Scalentine Chronicler

No Safe Place Recent reports suggest that the locked rooms provided for weres at the central Militia Barracks during full moon are overwhelmed.  “It’s becoming a real problem,” said one source. Our reporter interviewed several people living near the barracks.  … Continue reading

Scalentine Chronicler Lonely Hearts Column

Female seeking Male COMES WITH EXTRAS: Human, 40 years Scalentine. Curvy, fun-loving, honest. Which is why I’m telling you about the occasional possession now. Demon is harmless but annoying adolescent male. Seeking helpful (nice) wizard or experienced father of teenagers. … Continue reading

Extracts from the Scalentine Chronicler

Waving the Flag A man was arrested by the City Militia as he made indecent suggestions to a number of passers-by while waving a part of his anatomy at them. He later claimed to have been taking part in a … Continue reading