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‘Visionary Vistas’ Professional Landscapers – You Will Believe Your Eyes! Do you have a tiny plot and long for land? We can help! No matter how small the area, we can give you rolling fields and vast acreage – ancient … Continue reading
Category Archives: The Scalentine Chronicler
Mysterious ‘Burglaries’ Leave Militia Baffled A number of dwellings have recently been broken into in the area of Crowns portal. Each break-in has involved various items being moved around and a small amount of money, approximately enough to pay for … Continue reading
Alchemical Blaze Residents on Brittle Bridge Way were woken in the early hours of last Jalday by explosions and brightly-coloured fireballs. T’fringith Dren, of No. 38, described the scene. “Like a festival, pink, blue, bang bang! And the alchemist running … Continue reading
JOBS Guards/Drivers sought for trade caravan. High rates. Must be skilled fighters, any additional abilities an advantage, extra weapons/armour/magical protections provided, no dependents preferred. Teachers required, all subjects. Madame Hithrode’s Educational College, King of Stone. High rates. Must be skilled … Continue reading
Male seeking Female Abracadabra: Alphor the Magnificent, (human, 50 Years Scalentine, slightly used) Conjuror of Lively Spirits and Entertaining Visions for the Discerning, weary of non-corporeal company, seeks nice solid lady. Own wand provided. Female seeking Male I’d Hide: Ikinchli … Continue reading
Female Seeking Male In the money: Human, 58 years Scalentine, well-preserved and jolly. Seeks entertaining, independent person/persons to help me spend family fortune as recklessly as possible, before scrounging, whinging, ungrateful offspring can inherit it. Gave up wiping their bums … Continue reading
Cheese Wrangler wanted. Experience in handling Litjar Blue and the more potent Endaki cheeses a necessity, apply Tupp’s Warehouse, Little Cattle Street. Dancers needed, Calentaria’s Burlesque Barre and Grille. Flexibility, dexterity, skin/costumes must be resistant to spitting fat and occasional … Continue reading
No Safe Place Recent reports suggest that the locked rooms provided for weres at the central Militia Barracks during full moon are overwhelmed. “It’s becoming a real problem,” said one source. Our reporter interviewed several people living near the barracks. … Continue reading
Female seeking Male COMES WITH EXTRAS: Human, 40 years Scalentine. Curvy, fun-loving, honest. Which is why I’m telling you about the occasional possession now. Demon is harmless but annoying adolescent male. Seeking helpful (nice) wizard or experienced father of teenagers. … Continue reading
Waving the Flag A man was arrested by the City Militia as he made indecent suggestions to a number of passers-by while waving a part of his anatomy at them. He later claimed to have been taking part in a … Continue reading