Extracts from The Scalentine Chronicler Lonely Hearts Page

Males seeking Females

BE MY QUEEN?

Exiled heir to the glorious throne of Donefrascu seeks companionship while awaiting inevitable downfall of villainous usurper. STR relationship only (unless you are a member of one of the Three Exalted Families, in which case contact my secretary for details of dowry requirements).  Please enclose engraving.

DOUBLE TROUBLE

Fun loving Ikinchli male seeks one or more females any compatible species for good times.  And yes it’s true what you’ve heard, they’re called hemipenes, look it up or come and find out for yourself, you won’t regret it.

Females seeking Males

LOVE THAT UNIFORM

Member of City Militia seeks LTR.  Tall, human, 23 yrs Scalentine.  Likes good food, traditional Monishi music, and wrestling.  Seeks kind genuine male 20-40 yrs Scalentine with SOH and not a bloody criminal this time thank you.

Males seeking Males

FANCY A HOT ROLL

Ipanthi baker, own shop, 40 yrs Scalentine, seeks cuddly Ipanthi male for fun times, maybe more.  Offers best buns in the business.

Females seeking Females

HOLD STILL

Edleskasin artist, 60 years Scalentine, seeks muse.  Large silky ears and ability to hold a pose a must.  I will immortalise you.  No timewasters, critics or gallery owners.

Hermaphroditic seeking Hermaphroditic

SWEETIE PIE

Excellent savoury cook seeks confectioner for rounding out menu.  Handsome Barraklé, 3 children, 32 years Scalentine, likes good wine, theatre, antiques.  Seeks similar for LTR, children welcome but no more than 7 please!

Other (no we’re not having more subcategories do you know how many there are in this city – Ed.)

WE HAVE NO IDEA

Well-connected Brissish seeks breeding pair, urgent.  All formal ceremonies provided.  Must be second or thirty-third flange only.  No fourteenth flange (or glisterish for obvious reasons) and anyone turning up with a blindigge will be reported to the appropriate authorities.  Eternal blessings on the earth of your holding.


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Extracts from The Scalentine Chronicler Lonely Hearts Page — 1 Comment

  1. Pingback: The #FridayFlash Report – Vol 4 Number 50 | Friday Flash

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