This Week in the Scalentine Chronicler

Charity Venture Sparks Religious Riot

Scenes of violence and destruction of property overtook Lower Water Way yesterday when Theriniet D’chain (28 Years Scalentine) and her two friends Lisial E’Kith (32) and Dropfi N’Rakl (25), attempted to raise money for their local Little Sisters of Perpetual Inconsistency Mothers and Toddlers group. They hired an amusing six legged cow costume from Volfringes’ Japerie to attract donations.

The ladies were unaware that once dressed in this costume, they bore a strong resemblance to The Latent Beast, a deity of the Ginankish people whose presence symbolises the onset of the End Times.

“At first it was all going well,” Mrs D’chain told our reporter. “We’d collected enough for some washable cushion covers, maybe a few crayons. The next thing we know all these people are pointing at us and wailing.”

The Eternal Cleansing sect of the Ginankish believe that on the appearance of The Beast one should immediately shed all worldly possessions and give them to The Beast in order to have a chance of passing into the new world that will appear on the destruction of the old.

“They started stripping off and throwing stuff at us. Money, and clothes, and whatever they had with them. Lisial almost got hit with a chicken. We had no idea what was going on, you can’t see a lot in that outfit, especially if you’re the middle set of legs.”

The Anti-Disintegration Sect of the Ginankish, on the other hand, believe that all worldly goods should be gathered together and burned, in order to propitiate The Beast, and that this will prevent The Beast from destroying the world and allow mortals more time to prepare themselves for the End.

Anti-Disintegrationists however did not confine themselves to burning their own discarded goods but also began to pull them from nearby shops. Proprietors objected.  The Eternal Cleansing sect attempted to intervene. Violence ensued.

“The costume shifted and I couldn’t see anything at all,” said Mrs D’chain. “There was this smell of burning and I could hear yells and people being punched. Then Dropfi and Lisial were trying to run in two different directions and I fell over. The next thing I remember is the Militia cutting me out of the costume.”

There were 14 injuries and an estimated 10,000 silver of damage, including the amusing cow costume, which has now been withdrawn from display on the advice of the Militia.

“Next time I think we’ll have a cake stall,” said Mrs D’chain.


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